Pearls and Presence, Chapter Seven- Bitter

Once upon a starry and lonely night, when the Accuser was whispering promises into my ear, I gave him the key to the door of this empire just as I had given him the pearl. And that very night he locked it and hid away the key from me. He is so close to me now, and I see it there hanging from a string around his neck as he leans over me. And there in the tallest room of the tallest tower of my empire I am finally overcome by the Enemy. I get what I deserve. All the things I built walls up against to keep out, they are all visited upon me in full force at that moment. All the things I feared, they all came true. My idols are gone, and my Accuser was right. And this is the dark night of the soul, and I cannot escape my mistakes or undo my choices.

Who can save me?

~*~

Maras’ eyes were closed, and the craving she felt was all-consuming as she bowed low before her idols. It had been so long since she had worshiped here. All the pent-up energy came exuding from her being. Her hope was electric with anticipation.

“This is the moment you have been dreaming of, Mara, when you will get what you have always wanted.” Achor knew exactly what she needed to hear. His knowledge came from the many years of walking with her, listening to her talk and studying her habits and behaviors and choices. He knew her better than she knew herself.

“You will finally have companions on the island. You have given them your complete trust now, it is finished!” The power of his influence over Mara in this moment came from the many years of her choosing his companionship, allowing herself to walk with him, listening to him talk, and looking frequently into his accusing eyes for answers.

She was so convinced of her happiness that she hardly notice when Achor moved close to her and crouched down right next to her prostrated figure. He pressed his hand lightly on her back and whispered, “Give the necklace to me and you will have what you deserve. I know what to do next.” 

She wanted so badly to believe that his words were good, because his was the only voice she ever heard on the lonely island. So Mara lifted up her right arm, hands clasped around the pearl necklace, extended it towards him, and it fell through her open fingers into his hands.

The moment it happened she felt all the power go out from within her. That very second she realized she had totally destroyed her illusions.

She finally saw that her idols were false, and that they were made of nothing more than masks and fears and lies.

She wanted to take it back.

But it was too late.

What was done could not be undone.

He stood up with a victorious laugh, and then stepped between Mara and her idols. She felt his cold shadow fall over her, and regret manifested in her body. Mara looked up and saw that he was clutching the pearl necklace tightly and mocking her with accusing eyes- his voice was no longer encouraging, but full of selfish delight.

“I have waited years for this moment. I have been searching for the pearl of great price among your roses day after day after day. And now you just hand it to me of your own free will!”

He laughed and looked closely at her. Then he spoke with great clarity- “Always remember what you have done. You chose this by your own doing, Mara. This is your fault and you should be so ashamed.” That word burned like fire in her soul. “You have given me authority over your greatest treasure. Me, your lifelong Adversary and Accuser. And so now you will get what you truly deserve, what you have worked for all these years without even realizing it”.

And with one fell swoop he turned and smashed all the beautiful idols, the ones that represented the things she desired to love. They shattered into a million broken pieces on the floor around her. And even though she knew they were false, made of insecurity, instability and deception, even still Mara cried out in despair, reaching forward helplessly to stop the destruction.

The remnants of her idols were scattered everywhere, impossible to repair.

She had loved them so deeply that she would now mourn them like a dead brother. The tears began instantly, threatening to choke her with sorrow.

Achor turned back to watch her reaction and towered over her prostrate figure with haughty laughter.

“You are mine now. There is nothing left for you. This is what you deserve. This is what you asked for. This is your fault. And now you are going to pay the price for what you have done.” There was an almost drunken malice emanating from Achor as he towered over Mara, who was cowering on the ground.

In an instant of broken repentance she thought of the sea, and she knew she needed to escape the Valley and seek refuge by the ocean. But the darkness was so vast and the valley walls were so high and the way was blocked.

Achor was holding hostage her pearl of great price, clutching it in his tight fist, laughing at her. She put her head in her hands and grieved- I surrendered my gift and now I cannot take it back, I gave it carelessly away without even the slightest regard for its true value.

And in a flash she remembered the wild and regal Man in white, the one from her dream. She knew instinctively that she must go to Him. Somehow she knew this to be a fact; it was a call from deep inside her soul.

It was the first absolute truth she had believed in many years.

With a new hope Mara tried to get up from the floor, but Achor knocked her back. He was powerful now, strong and aggressive and in full control. He knew her every weakness and turned upon each one of them.

“It is too late, your mistake is permanent.” Achor declared triumphantly.

And he was right, it was too late for her. Now, by her own doing, she was completely at the mercy of her enemy’s authority. Nothing was left of the audacious gentleman he had been- he now stood before her revealed as his truest self, the Prince of Darkness. The one she had foolishly trusted with her greatest gift.

 “What has been set in motion cannot be undone. You have destroyed your future here. This is all your fault. This is why your name will always be Mara- bitter. These idols could never love you, and now all false hope is destroyed. No more pretense- yours forever will be a cup of bitterness.”

And as she cowered beneath the cutting accusations, Achor descended upon her with all the force of knowledge and power. He forcefully stripped Mara of all the things she held dear. He took away her dignity, her identity, her ambitions, her pride, her desires, her hopes, her dreams, her self-worth. All were lost.

She was weeping with regret and grief, and he laughed at her tears and slapped them. Her repentance only fueled his violence. He unleased the full extent of the consequences upon her with delighted malice. He declared all the unspoken truths about her failures. He used the power of shame to ravage her entire being.

Mara helplessly wept at the painful revelations that came to her awareness. Salt and water fell and her heart and mind were invaded with unbearable grief. Her entire self was violated and broken.

When it was over, Achor turned away in disgust at her absolute helplessness. His fury was spent, all truth had been told, and now his breathing slowed. He looked once more at her with haughty disdain and spoke his final farewell. His voice had returned to normal.

“I am leaving you now, Mara.” It was said with unfeeling finality. “This destruction will last a lifetime; my presence is no longer necessary. The consequences of your choices will be enough to carry on my work here for many years to come. You carry bitterness within you now. That bitterness will grow and then in due time it will give birth to anger. And anger will grow into hate, which will become your next and final companion.”

Achor smiled coyly, giving one final declaration of truth- “In time you will come to trust hatred just as you have trusted me. As always, you carelessly give trust to those who do not earn it. Your honesty and transparency have always been your greatest weakness. This is why you will need anger to survive from now on.” His tone had returned to normal and his eyes gleamed with deep satisfaction.

And he turned on his heel, throwing the pearls into the wreckage as if they were worthless trash. And then he walked away from her without so much as a backward glance.

Mara lay there in abject humiliation, broken on the floor, vulnerable and exposed, covered with shame and tears.

She had given deep and intimate trust away and it had been used against her. This was to be her eternal shame.

And for days and days she cried, wandering aimlessly among the broken idols there in the Valley of Achor. She could not sleep, eat, be happy or feel joy. She did not know where to go or what to do. Her only emotions were doubt, fear, worry and regret. Anxiety had replaced accusation, and her mind replayed her mistakes over and over and over again, until she wanted to die.

This was the dark night of the soul.

Where hopes and dreams and love once rested in Mara’s heart, now there was only an empty hole that would slowly fill to overflowing with bitterness and anger as time passed.

Her mind endured ravenous, endless warfare. There was a permanent seed of hatred within her being. She could not live with herself now.

But as she lay herself down among the broken idols, determined for her suffering to be over and so deciding to lie down in her mistakes and never get up from them again, the wind changed course.

The same breeze that met Mara on the shore of the sea now made its way over the land towards where she lay in the depths below. For the first time, the sea breeze wafted down into the valley, bringing the smell of peppermint and lavender.

Mara opened her weary, tear filled eyes and looked up.

She could hear a small bright sound, like tiny wind-chimes. The gentle wind brought with it the most sea spray Mara had even seen. It came in over the high walls of the Valley in great drafts, gathering and billowing into a great mist of sparkling light. It gently floated downward towards her. She watched with wonder as it settled all over and around her. The mist was glowing and covering her entire being, and she could feel that it brought healing with it.

As she breathed it in, she felt something tight and hard beginning to uncoil inside of her.

Mara closed her eyes and cried again, but the tears were different now, free and healing. As the mist settled over her, Mara lost track of time, drifted off and and slept a peaceful and dreamless sleep for the first time in many days. Instead of frightening dreams, tranquil visions of hope filled the empty spaces within her as she rested.

When she awoke, the mist was gone and she had been clothed in a billowing white dress, unlike anything she had ever seen. She was radiant and beautiful, fully restored and completely healed. She could feel that her power and divinity had returned to her.

And a Man was there kneeling close beside her, leaning over her prostrate figure, smiling lovingly into her face. His face was beautiful and kind and benevolent. He was also dressed in shining white, and He touched her forehead and He called her beloved.

He was wild and majestic and his dark hair was untamed.

“My Redeemer,” Mara whispered in shock and awe.

Mara forgot all sense of fear when she looked up into His eyes. When He touched her forehead she noticed her reflection in his eyes and saw that she was very beautiful.

His gaze reflected both the moonlight and the bright sun, dark brown orbs with endless radiant depths.

The perfect contour of his face, the dark, smooth skin, and unruly dark hair which haphazardly framed his regal face made for a striking appearance.  He was unkempt, and yet His looks were stunningly dignified.  For a brief moment she was transfixed by His overwhelming beauty, but she quickly remembered her shame when she caught sight of the broken idols all around His feet.

“Oh, my God!” Her regret was both physical and emotional.

This Man from her dream was standing right in the midst of her foolish brokenness.

Mara pushed herself up onto her knees and knelt before Him, her long brown hair spilling all around and covering His bare feet. She pressed her forehead to the ground before him and sobbed in repentance, pushing the broken pieces away from him. A new wave of grief crashed over her.

“Oh, I am so sorry, please forgive me, I was so foolish, I am so sorry. I was wrong, this is all my fault. I am so ashamed. God forgive me. I shall have no other gods before You. I will worship only You.” She was weeping again, hot tears of regret, frantically scratching away the mess from all around Him.

“Beloved. Be still. Stop striving.”

He reached down and touched the top of her head with his fingers ever so lightly.  Immediately her tears stopped and her hands ceased their movement. She looked up, her hair falling back behind her, and found herself once again staring into his eternal expression.

What she saw there eased her shame.  Somehow the world seemed to stand still when she was gazing at the moon and sun that shone in his face.  Her fear dissipated with a foreign feeling she couldn’t explain except to call it joy, which made no sense in light of the destruction all around her. 

She said nothing, but waited for His next command, trembling slightly.  Overtaken with conflicting emotions, Mara was transfixed by a solitary tear which traced silently down his cheek.

He was crying for her…

~*~

Join me next time for chapter eight! 

www.persuasiveabundance.com

To go back to the beginning of this story, click here.

To read my personal confession of redeeming love, click here.

With deepest gratitude for all my readers- 

Rebecca

Pearls and Presence, Chapter Six- Desire

Day after day I climb the stairs of the tower to worship and serve at the altar of my favorite idols, and I find myself spending more time there than anywhere else in my vast empire. I prostrate myself before these idols, here in the tallest room of the tallest tower of my empire, and I forget about everything except my worship. This is my favorite time, I live for this and I am always hungry for it. I come empty and leave full, and yet I am never satisfied. I fall to my knees in reverence and bow my head to the floor, arms outstretched and palms turned upwards. My hands are open, ready to receive whatever my idols will give to me. I wait for even the slightest sign of response. I wait for them to love me, to validate me, to give me a purpose and an identity. I worship in expectation. 
I wait for them to give me a new name.

~*~

          Mara rushed to where the neat pile of rocks lay, sand flying up behind her feet as she ran, dress swishing precariously around her legs.  She bent down to pick one up and held it up in the fading light, head tilted and deep in thought as she observed.  Yes, these were definitely the same rocks.  Still clutching the stone, she raised her eyes and looked around her. 

If the tide hadn’t claimed the seaweed, then who or what did?  Curiosity perked her hope once again.  Nobody ever came down to this small alcove, least of all Achor, and the island never had visitors.

This place was always empty. Always.

Mara tossed the rock away from her over a boulder that was resting against a small embankment, and the sound of its clatter over the other pebbles echoed as it rolled.  But the sound stopped suddenly with the sound of wood hitting stone.  When the rock disappeared out of view, she heard it thud loudly against something other than stones.  It hit against something strong and solid, like the trunk of a tree. But there were no trees here, only sand and rocks and shells.

          She hurried over and peered around the rock.  She gasped with surprise.  A small wooden boat sat solid and out of place on the damp sand. She knew the beach like the back of her hand, and this had never been here before.  Instantly she remembered the mysterious shape that had been drifting out on the ocean not so long ago.

She stepped around the boulder and came closer to the boat. 

Draped on one side of it was the clump of seaweed, and the water-soaked wood immediately around it looked the color of blood in the fading light.  An unexplained sense of wonder came upon Mara, and she felt compelled to come closer.  This was the same seaweed that was wrapped around the pearl necklace.  Someone had taken time to untangle it.  Yet where was this person now? And where were the pearls?

          She looked over her shoulder towards the water, scanned the beach, and then squinted through the semi-darkness at the cliffs.  The last ray of sun had sunk into the sea, and the full moon provided pale white light, illuminating the sand and reflecting off the sea spray which collected on the stones.  If whoever had arrived in this boat was still here, it would be impossible to search the entire jetty, especially in such inadequate light. Still…

          Mara knew she should go home now that it was dark. 

Of course Achor would be furious with jealousy if he knew someone else was on the island. She feared what he might do to an uninvited guest and didn’t want to provoke him by walking home so late.  She decided she would leave as soon as she had investigated the mysterious boat.  Mara moved towards it on the cool sand, her dress swishing around her ankles as she took each step.  She stopped directly in front of the boat, and reached out her trembling hand to touch it. 

The wood was worn and coarse, although it looked well-made and sturdily put together, as if done by an expert craftsman.  She drew her hand away, feeling like an intruder, and instead bent down to examine the front of it.

          She saw a strange emblem, pearls resting within a red rose.

          This was inlaid into the center of a faded gold panel running along the top and bottom of the boat, which was otherwise quite plain.  She ran her finger over the small design, intrigued by it.  It was only slightly bigger than her hand, yet it was the most delicately crafted of any design she had ever seen.  Unlike the bare wood, the painted emblem was smooth and soft, and seemed almost warm.  As she continued to run her fingers over the curving, thorn-covered stem of the rose, her eyes were raised up and she stood to look inside the boat. 

          There on the bottom was a tiny wooden chest of the same material as the boat.  It was clean and dry and had an exactly matching rose emblem on its lid.  All she had to do was step into the boat and open the lid to see what was inside. 

Mara hesitated, looked around, and then stepped in and shook the sand off of her feet.  Then, crouching down, she nimbly slid her fingers into the gap at the top of the small wooden box, just above the rose. 

She was filled with wonder as she felt it open with ease.  The trunk lifted up on well-oiled hinges and she set back on her heels there in the hull of the boat to gaze at the contents inside.

All time stood still.

          Mara stared with astonishment. In her heart she felt she was suddenly connected with an old friend, safe to belong and welcomed and loved.

The tiny box was ablaze with light from within, as if a thousand white diamonds had caught the pale moonlight and turned it into a dazzling multitude of tiny rainbows.  The colors caught in her hair and in her eyes, and her face glowed in its light. Her mouth parted and her eyes grew wide with rapture. 

The luminosity blazed out of the boat and shone out into the night sky for several moments, and then faded slowly away like the rays of a sunset. She lost her senses and stood transfixed for several moments, dazzled by the beauty of the treasure before her.

Inside, bright white and flawlessly clean, was the pearl necklace she had been searching for. It had not a single blemish upon it.

Time continued to hold still.

And then, suddenly and without warning Mara’s trance was interrupted with a bang, as the lid of the trunk was slammed down, causing a nearby group of sandpipers to fly off in a screaming flurry of white feathers.  The brilliant light was cut off and only the pale glow of the full moon shone on the beach.

Mara found herself face to face with Achor.

His eyes were inches from her own, deep and intense. The look on his face interrupted Mara’s wonder and startled her out the captivating effect of her discovery. She had forgotten Achor could easily have seen all that bright light shining out from her treasure, and he must have come running.

He had set foot on the sand for the first time since she had known him.

“Sacrifice this to your idols.” It was clearly Achor speaking, but his voice was so changed that she hardly recognized it. There was authority and power in it where there had once been patient reserve.

He was no longer biding his time.

 “Sacrifice this to your idols,” he said again, only slightly more subdued after seeing the way he had startled her. His seductive eyes were glowing in the moonlight and he didn’t even blink as he stared deep into her soul. She felt a vague sense of shame about the look in his eyes, as if he knew something very bad about her.

A seed of selfish willing weakness was planted within her thoughts when he mentioned the idols.

She desired to desire.

His voice was calm, but there was dark influence within it, and it seemed to reach down into every weakness within her that she had ever disclosed. He did not touch the boat, but he leaned in very close, their faces almost touching, and put his hand over her own, which was still on the wooden vessel.

He waited with intensity that she could feel radiating from his entire being. Mara hesitated, remembering as he gazed at her the idol worship from days long past.

She did not dismiss Achor.

She did not rebuke him.

She listened.

She desired to desire.

Conflicted, Mara broke his stare and turned away from him, lifting her eyes up to the dark valley in the distance. Slowly, ever so slowly, she moved her hand out from under his, picked up the small box and held it protectively to her chest.

“I wonder…” She paused and Achor nodded slowly, reading her face with delight. “I wonder if this might make them love me, if I give to them this pearl of great price.” She spoke out loud, hardly knowing her thoughts were audible. “I would be doing something noticeable and admirable by sacrificing such a valuable treasure to them. They will surely care about me after I do this. Certainly I will be counted as one of them after such an offering.” She spoke with a slowly increasing confidence that she did not truly feel in order to hide her uncertainty.

Achor replied, moving back and giving her room to stand. “Yes, Mara, yes, because you deserve this moment. You need to be loved, and this will make them love you.” He had ecstatic urgency in his voice, and it was contagiously compelling.

She completely lowered her defenses, embracing temptation and all its delightful lies.

Seeing her choice was made, Achor jumped up and flew into action. He urged her with every bit of influence he had over her. “Hurry now, to the Valley!”

Before she knew what was happening, Mara was scrambling along the shore, over rocks and up the grassy incline, past her packed dinner and the knife to cut the seaweed, climbing up and up, with Achor fast at her heels urging her onward.

“Why is he in such a hurry?” she wondered fleetingly.

She felt his hand under her arm, urging her forward, and he kept saying “faster, quickly, before it’s too late!” He kept peering greedily over her shoulder at the treasure that was pressed against her heart.

He consumed her cooperation like a power-hungry scavenger.

And they moved together so quickly down the path that it seemed she was transported to Achors’ dwelling place in a matter of mere seconds, as if through sheer willpower.

And in unison they descended into the depths of the gloomy Valley.

Achor presented Mara to the shrine of her idols with such formality and pride, it was almost as if he were announcing a bride at the entrance to her wedding reception.

 Mara took one look at her idols and fell to her knees in reverence, completely at the mercy of her own reaction to them, and placed the little chest hurriedly on the ground. With fearful urgency she removed the necklace in one swift motion. It could not catch the light here, because even the moon did not shine in the Valley.

And in what felt like the ultimate moment of victory, Mara held out the pearls and prostrated herself on her face before the lifeless stones with utter abandon. Mara was thrilled with anticipation that these idols on pedestals might finally come to life and love her at last.

She continued to bow low for an endless eternity with silent reverence before the lifeless stones. Her long hair had come loose and fell down onto the ground all around her.

Achor’s mouth curved into a deadly smile as he watched her from a short distance away. He encouraged her boldly, saying “Yes, Mara, now everything will be different, now you will have everything you desire. And now, finally, this empire will be inhabited.” 

His eyes darkened with the look of a conquering victor about to slay his opponent, and he gazed upwards towards the place where the sky hung far above the Valley.

The stars darkened.

Achor saw and laughed low as if at some great cosmic joke that was about to unfold.

Her submission to desire was almost complete.

The dark night of the soul was about to begin...

~*~

Join me next time for chapter seven! 

www.persuasiveabundance.com

To go back to the beginning of this story, click here.

To read my personal confession of redeeming love, click here.

With deepest gratitude for all my readers- 

Rebecca

Pearls and Presence, Chapter Four- Hope

If I looked out the windows of this tower I would see the ocean from here, and I could watch the gulls swooping and gliding, and see the beauty that is sparkling on the surface of the water below. The sun is shining through red stained-glass, and it tries to reach me. But I never look up, I never look out, because I am too busy worshiping. I come here often to honor my idols. The Accuser always follows me here- it’s his favorite place also. He watches me closely but never says a word. His eyes glow with desire, and they never leave me for a moment. They stare at me unblinkingly and wait. I have seen these haunting eyes in my dreams.

~*~

Mara was intrigued by the treasure. “Where did this come from?” she wondered. 

Nobody ever visited the island. She wondered briefly if Achor might know something about it. But she quickly pushed thoughts of him away.

She tugged at the side of the strand of pearls that had the word on it, trying to wipe it clean with her hands. She moved it this way and that, trying to free it from the kelp. The pearls were smooth and white and perfect, and they were hopelessly stuck.

Mara became lost in thought, remembering what this could mean. 

There was something from the past….something about perfume, anointing, baptism, purity, community and the forgiveness of white roses. 

She remembered a Presence, one before she walked through the Valley of Achor…

…a time before she took refuge in isolation. Before she became bitter.

And she felt a reminder of Hope that surpasses understanding, one that comes on the wind with the spray of the sea, the one that smells sweet like peppermint and deep like lavender and sounds bright like freedom and feels safe like home.

 “That name, this pearl.” She looked up at the seagulls and directed her words to their curious beady eyes. “This was a gift from Someone, and there is something I must do, something I need to surrender.” She looked out towards the sea, but she knew not what she saw, because she was watching a distant memory from her past. 

“There is someone I must meet with, a story I still need to write. I should talk to Him about it. But where is He?” She hardly knew where these thoughts were coming from or that she spoke them aloud.

The gulls listened closely, heads tilting from one side to the other. One by one they began returning to their nests, settling in and comforting their frightened young.

Rousing herself, Mara came to her senses and realized with urgency that she had a great deal she needed to record in her journal.

          Throwing the stick down on the mess of seaweed, she stood up and brushed the wet sand off her hands and knees.  She looked down at the pearl necklace one last time, realizing she could not bring it home with her until she freed it from the kelp. Reluctantly Mara stepped back and glanced towards the embankment, knowing that she couldn’t waste any more time or her inspiration would be lost. 

She decided to come back later after she was done writing. She piled several large rocks around the seaweed to secure it down safely and then began to carry out her original intent, to launch her tiny fishing boat and catch a meal.

          After a quick harvest of clams and fish, she took one last look at the strange treasure, making a mental note of its location in order to return to it later with tools to untangle it from the mass of heavy seaweed. Then she departed with an eager yearning to return as soon as possible.

          As Mara was pushing her laden cart up the hill, she heard a small avalanche of rocks cascading down towards the beach on her left.  She stopped and stared, but there was nothing unusual to see among the large rocks from where she was standing.

A strange feeling came over Mara, and she longed to search among the caves and crevices in the side of the hill to see what had made that noise.  Without a doubt it was not Achor- he always looked warily upon the sea with distaste in his eyes. One place that Mara knew he would never follow her was the beach- he had an aversion to water and vast open spaces. He never set foot on the sand- he preferred the confines of his dark Valley filled with idols.

  So maybe the disturbance had to do with the pearls she had found?  But she knew that Achor would probably start searching for her in her vineyard if she took any longer coming home, so Mara forced herself to continue walking. She must keep him away from her roses.

She consoled herself with the promise that she would return later in the cool of the evening, just as soon as she had finished her chores and, most importantly, her writing.

~*~

The quick pace at which she was pushing the heavy cart up the hill soon warmed her, and she was panting by the time she pushed it into the small shed next to the house. 

“You’re in quite a hurry this morning,” a smooth voice said behind her, startling Mara out of her activity.  She turned around to meet the familiar face and dark prying eyes staring down intently into hers.

“Achor.”  Mara blushed and backed up slightly.  She didn’t know what else to say, remembering their last fight not so long ago. She stood next to her cart and awkwardly leaned against it, wiping the perspiration from her brow. She stared at the ground by his feet, avoiding his face.

She didn’t want to admit she was relieved to see him again, nor did she want to tell him why she was in such an excited rush.

“What is it? Something happened.” Achor prodded for an answer. Since he could not enter her mind, he read her face, studying her every move quite intently and hanging onto her every word.

“Oh, it’s nothing interesting” Mara said with a tinge of annoyance that he was endlessly asking her personal questions.  “I am running low on supplies, so I just wanted to see if I could gather some clams and do some early fishing.”  She paused, hoping he wouldn’t ask if she had another dream about the storm.  She didn’t want to talk to Achor about her dreams.  But he evaluated her face and seemed to be satisfied with the impression.

“So,” he dismissed that conversation and smiled down at her with benevolent swagger, “can I walk you to the house?  I don’t have to be anywhere in particular, and I could use some company. I won’t talk too much, I promise.” He smiled coyly, falling into step beside her.

“Well, ok,” Mara responded, hiding her uncertainty.  Although she wanted to believe that his offer was friendly, she couldn’t help the doubt that rose up inside her.  It made her feel vulnerable, and she did not like it.  She knew Achor presented himself as a gentleman, but still she never fully trusted anything he said, although she wanted to and tried.

In her memory Mara could hardly recall a time when he had not been a constant presence in her life of isolation.  They sometimes walked together on the trail in the evenings and made up fanciful stories about what lay beyond Empire Island.  She never felt any direct imposition during these conversations, because he knew when to respect her insecurity.

 This was why he now watched her face both when she spoke and when she was silent, so he would know exactly what to say to make her feel safe with him. He always made suggestions that resonated with her deepest fears in a way that short-circuited her judgement.  He seemed to know her even better than she knew herself, which was daunting. 

“What was so interesting out on the bay, anyhow?” he asked as they walked side by side towards the house together.  “I have noticed you watching it closely the past few days. You are starting to make me very jealous.”  At this, Achor tilted his head, ran his fingers into his hair and put on a dramatically sad expression on his face.

Mara surprised herself and laughed out loud at his unusual display of comedy, which made Achor drop his act and laugh, too.  She composed herself and corrected him.

“You know, sometimes I get tired of you accusing me, mister!” Mara shook her head, smiling to hide her confliction.  He may sometimes joke about his jealousy, but there was interrogation beneath his light words. She wasn’t sure how to answer his initial question, so she remained silent for a long while. He didn’t ask her again.

The two walked slowly, as the path between the shed and the house was not far. 

They stopped in front of her door.

“This is my stop.  I really should hurry, so I can collect my baskets and start cooking all those fish. I have a lot to do.”  Mara turned to push open the door.

“Allow me to help, won’t you? I will wait here.” Achor stood obediently with his hands clasped in front of him, feet firmly planted on the doorstep, with a demure and obedient countenance.

“Well, alright.” Mara hesitated, seeing his attempt at persuading her through easy compliance. She hurried inside, gathered up several woven baskets in her arms, and came back out to where he was standing. She handed him one of the more cumbersome baskets and they carried them across the lawn.

Working side by side in the dim light of the shed, Achor and Mara worked to shell the clams and prepare the fish for cooking, separating the different kinds and cleaning them. After her entire collection was attended to, they carried the full baskets back to the house.

Appreciative for his help, Mara smiled up at Achor when they returned to her door. She set her two baskets on the table and returned to get his. As she reached for the largest basket to take inside, their fingers touched. His eyes flickered and he put his hand on her shoulder when she took it from him. She hesitated, debating whether to look at his face, and when she did Mara saw him looking at her in that unsettling way again, with his handsome and searching eyes.

“Thanks for letting me help you with this, Mara. I love to work with you. You are always so busy and I want you to know that I am always available to assist you. You spend so much time in your garden or doing chores.”  He paused, choosing his next words carefully.  “You should take a break once in a while and come visit me in the Valley. Like old times.”

“It has been a while,” stammered Mara, debating whether to rebuke his remark. She decided to pacify him this time with a gentler approach.  “I just don’t ever think to come and visit. The Valley just never comes to mind anymore. I can hardly remember it now,” she added, careful to give that particular qualifier.

“I still would welcome you any time. You used to adore the Valley, when you were in your prime of happiness. I still have all your idols exactly as you left them last. I preserve them for you. I know you will want them again someday.” Achor spoke boldly.

“Oh. Well, um, thank you,” she responded lightly.  She would never visit him there again, nor her idols, ever. There was too much shame in the memory. The influence of desire was still too intimidating to her wounded heart and mind. 

His hand left her shoulder, though his eyes didn’t leave hers.  “Well, see you later, then!” He said brightly.  He threw her another crafty smile that would have made her laugh again if she didn’t know him better.

          She remembered the pearls.

Mara knew she would make quicker time now that Achor was gone, since she was no longer locked in a discussion with him.  She was in such a distracted state that she fumbled with the last basket and almost spilled it.  She set it down, and then she ran over to the kitchen window and looked out.  Before she began her morning chores, Mara wanted to pause and recall her discovery of such a strange and beautiful treasure.

But she kept her emotions in reserve, because now was not the time to feel. It was time to accomplish the tasks at hand.

She had a whole day ahead of her before she returned to the beach. She had to prepare her meals, preserve the remaining food, and tend to her rose beds. And she wanted to write something more in her journal.

 She needed to be present with herself and leave the excitement of her finding at the beach where she left it. Taking a deep calming breath, Mara stepped back from the window and looked around her.  

The room was still and quiet and filled with hope.

~*~

Join me next time for chapter five! 

www.persuasiveabundance.com

To go back to the beginning of this story, click here.

To read my personal confession of redeeming love, click here.

With deepest gratitude for all my readers- 

Rebecca