I
will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a
gateway of hope. She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago when
she was young, when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt.
-Hosea 2:15
~*~
The sound of the ocean could
now reach the confines of the valley, and the waves The girl watched with fascination as the tear of compassion glided slowly down his dark skin. It glittered with a rainbow of white colors in the faint light, looking exactly like a tiny pearl. She lifted her hands from the dusty ground as she remained keeling before him, and He himself knelt down directly before her. Face inches before her own, He reached out to wipe her own tears with His thumb.
As His hand brushed her
cheek, she felt His touch communicate safety and belonging.
He cupped her face and
smiled to reassure her. Something stirred within her soul. He reached down to
take both her hands, ready to lift her to her feet. Mara’s eyes grew large with
expectation when He held out his hand for hers. She placed hers in his ever so gently,
with both timidity and certainty, and at His touch her entire body felt alive with
tranquil joy. The emotion was so unexpected, yet she didn’t feel surprised at
anything she felt in His presence now.
His silence seemed to
explain what human words could not. Her
only sense of understanding seemed to come from looking steadily into His eyes,
so she remained transfixed in that position as they both stood up together.
Gradually Mara became aware
of her breath.
It was slow and steady, and
it matched His own. She deeply inhaled peace and exhaled fear, again and again.
Mara started to speak, to ask Him what she should do now, but He covered her
mouth with his hand for a moment and He looked at her. He was transferring
divine power from His eyes to her own.
In His expression she could see
the vast ocean and the stars and the universe, and His eyes were so kind and
knowing that she forgot what she wanted to ask. Then He took His hand away from
her mouth and smiled.
And when He spoke there was
a place inside of her that had always known what this wild and regal Man in
white was about to say for her. She had known for her entire lifetime, although
she had never lived it.
Mara’s throat constricted
with emotion. “I believe You. I trust You. I love You.”
In one fluid and completely
natural motion, Mara stretched out her arms to Him in an embrace. He quickly
closed the gap between them, and there was no distance between their souls. Her
heart thrilled with joy as she drew her arms tightly around His neck and lay
her head on His shoulder.
This was a treasure even
greater than the pearl of great price.
For
an eternal moment He was holding her in His arms, and she was holding Him. And Mara never wanted to let go, because it
felt like the Kingdom had finally come. She was His princess and everything was
beautiful and good and right.
This
is what belonging felt like, to be in perfect alignment with her Redeemer.
Deliverance.
Redemption. Freedom. Peace.
And then the moment was
over, and the space between them widened. Mara lowered her gaze down to His
feet, and she heard Him speaking truth again.
In her mind she thought, “I
wish He would take me into His Kingdom this very moment.” But she dared not ask such a great request
out loud in His royal presence.
But
the Man looked at her lowered gaze and read her very thoughts. “It is not time,
not yet. First I will give you a new name, and then you can go out to share
your story.”
Mara was filled with sudden
dread. “I will fail without You.” She clasped her hands tightly in front of her
to hide their sudden trembling. “I will fail again. I can’t do this without
You. I’m scared.”
“I will never leave you.
Walk with me. I am here, I am with you
always. You are a warrior princess for my Kingdom. Know your worth and live
it.” He paused and smiled knowingly as if at some delightful confidence. “Mara,
it’s time to use your writing for good. You are almost ready to share your gift.” He
extended His hand and gestured for her to take it.
Mara grabbed onto his hand
like it was a lifeline and nodded, blinking back grateful tears of relief. “I
will. Oh, thank you. Thank you.”
And lifting her chin,
smiling through her tears, she allowed the Man to lead her slowly up the stairs
and out into the sunlight. She had to blink and squint her eyes against the
brightness of the morning light. She shielded her face for a moment until she
adjusted. Then together they walked steadily across the well-worn trail that
led up to the door of her home.
He
stopped and smiled gently. “I am the Truth. I know the Way. I want you to go
inside your dwelling place and write your story, the one you need to tell the
world. I will be your strength and your inspiration now. Use your writing for
good, my child. It is the gift I have given you.” He let go of her hand.
“Write my story...” Mara
hesitated. She stood there with one hand on the door, one foot on the path, and
looked out at the vast landscape. There were miles and miles of ocean, sandy
beach, and grassy hillsides.
And somewhere out there
beyond the horizon were real people that she was afraid to know. Living beings in
community, ones who were broken and redeemed just as she was, who could offer
real love and companionship because they were not made of stone.
“If I write my story and
share it, I will become vulnerable. The ones who read it are real people that could
love me or hurt me. They could welcome my story or ignore it, affirm it or deny
it, accept my story or judge my words. I am afraid to write, my Lord. I am afraid.” The vulnerability of this
confession left her feeling exposed. Her lip trembled, so she bit it to keep
from losing her composure.
“Ah my child, I am so proud of you. I want you to
see yourself as I see you now.” He pressed His hand to His heart and smiled. “This
day you have been baptized at my feet with your hair and your tears, and so
this is the day you become Mine. The opinion that matters is Mine, and I say that you are a delight.”
His
voice grew louder as if making a pronouncement to a crowd. “And now you will no
longer be called Mara, which means bitter. You will now be called Tirzah,
because you are My joy and delight.”
“Oh. Oh.” Mara felt the new name wash over her with grace and dignity.
She didn’t have the words to thank Him.
“You
belong to me now, and I am so proud of you. Keep writing, I am with You. This
is going to be so good, your story is beautiful. Go now. Do the hard work of
refinement. Trust me.” He gestured to her upstairs window.
Just as she turned towards
the door and began to open it, she gave a sudden start as she remembered
something important. “Oh, the pearls! We have to go back.” She was filled with
remorse at the loss.
She left the door ajar and
stepped back out into the path. But He gently squeezed her arm and stopped her.
Without a word He pulled the string of pearls from His pocket and pressed it
into her palm, the word Tirzah facing
upwards, written in proud bold letters.
Mara looked down at it, and
then slowly back up at Him, and He waited patiently.
He nodded again towards the door.
So lifting her head high, she
stepped gracefully forward with an air of royalty to push against the door and
throw it wide open. The sea breeze rushed in, and the ocean applauded her
courage with a roar. She faced Him for one last look.
Stepping forward He lifted
the necklace high and placed it gently around her neck. And He was smiling at
her with eyes full of pride and adoration at the dramatic effect the pearls had
on her graceful appearance.
“Thank you.”
He nooded and she closed the
door with a thud of finality. Mara turned and looked around at the quiet house. Her heart pounded with the anticipation of the
challenge before her.
Yet, she was encouraged by the
look she had seen in His eyes when He had given her a new name. She had seen tenderness there when He said
it, as if His very soul had spoken to her.
He had been visibly affected by her tears, as though they were His very
own. She had been transfixed by this Man,
and that moment would remain with her forever.
She reached up to touch the
pearls hanging around her neck.
She determined that she
would only leave one single blank page after she was done writing. This blank
page would be the chapter of her reconciliation to community, the final piece
of her journey which was yet untold. Nothing else could remain unwritten, or
her story would die without ever being told.
Mara willed her heart to
slow down as she walked up the stairs. Each
step was a victory. She stilled her breathing and began to calm her thoughts.
Her heart was made up. With renewed strength, Mara walked across the
upper room to the desk, where she had sat so many times before trying to find
the right words. She lowered herself
onto the chair, looked for a moment out the window, then poised her pen to
write.
~*~
Months and months went by.
The waiting was much harder than she expected. The healing was slow.
Mara finished writing her
story. Yet she knew that it was not complete, that there was something more
still to come. The final blank page remained untouched.
Even as she healed slowly through
writing, she realized that forgiveness and restoration were a long process and
not a sudden arrival. The hard work of moving forward and letting go of the
past, this was her refinement and her great test of patience.
So much time was needed to
heal her past hurts. So much time.
Often, Mara paused in her
chores and remembered the eyes of the beautiful, dignified Man who had given
her a new name.
“My Lord, what do I do now
that my story has been written?” Her voice trembled with fear at this question,
and she spoke it out loud into the wind. “How do I share it? Who do I tell?
Where should I go?”
“Tirzah, I am the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I will bless the
work of your hands and honor you at just the right time. Have patience, beloved. Trust the refinement process.” She
heard the words in her soul, because He dwelt with her there.
“Do I set sail away from
this place? Or do I stay and wait? How do I share my story?” She was dying to
know, to alleviate the great fear that she still carried with her, the fear of
the unknown.
“No.”
“No?? I don’t understand.”
“No. Trust Me. Walk with Me. Wait with Me. Wait, Tirzah. Cease striving.
Sit in your healing, dwell in it, observe your refinement and wait. The time will come. Trust.”
She sighed. She just wanted
to know how it would all end. Would she ever become something more than an
isolated inhabitant alone on this island? She was still so scared to leave her
solitude. Part of her wanted to hold onto it forever.
“I don’t know what to do.”
Her voice was carried away on the wind, out over the hills towards the sea.
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www.persuasiveabundance.com
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To go back to the beginning of this story, click here.
To read my personal confession of redeeming love, click here.
With deepest gratitude for all my readers,
~Rebecca
