Pearls and Presence, Chapter Six- Desire

Day after day I climb the stairs of the tower to worship and serve at the altar of my favorite idols, and I find myself spending more time there than anywhere else in my vast empire. I prostrate myself before these idols, here in the tallest room of the tallest tower of my empire, and I forget about everything except my worship. This is my favorite time, I live for this and I am always hungry for it. I come empty and leave full, and yet I am never satisfied. I fall to my knees in reverence and bow my head to the floor, arms outstretched and palms turned upwards. My hands are open, ready to receive whatever my idols will give to me. I wait for even the slightest sign of response. I wait for them to love me, to validate me, to give me a purpose and an identity. I worship in expectation. 
I wait for them to give me a new name.

~*~

          Mara rushed to where the neat pile of rocks lay, sand flying up behind her feet as she ran, dress swishing precariously around her legs.  She bent down to pick one up and held it up in the fading light, head tilted and deep in thought as she observed.  Yes, these were definitely the same rocks.  Still clutching the stone, she raised her eyes and looked around her. 

If the tide hadn’t claimed the seaweed, then who or what did?  Curiosity perked her hope once again.  Nobody ever came down to this small alcove, least of all Achor, and the island never had visitors.

This place was always empty. Always.

Mara tossed the rock away from her over a boulder that was resting against a small embankment, and the sound of its clatter over the other pebbles echoed as it rolled.  But the sound stopped suddenly with the sound of wood hitting stone.  When the rock disappeared out of view, she heard it thud loudly against something other than stones.  It hit against something strong and solid, like the trunk of a tree. But there were no trees here, only sand and rocks and shells.

          She hurried over and peered around the rock.  She gasped with surprise.  A small wooden boat sat solid and out of place on the damp sand. She knew the beach like the back of her hand, and this had never been here before.  Instantly she remembered the mysterious shape that had been drifting out on the ocean not so long ago.

She stepped around the boulder and came closer to the boat. 

Draped on one side of it was the clump of seaweed, and the water-soaked wood immediately around it looked the color of blood in the fading light.  An unexplained sense of wonder came upon Mara, and she felt compelled to come closer.  This was the same seaweed that was wrapped around the pearl necklace.  Someone had taken time to untangle it.  Yet where was this person now? And where were the pearls?

          She looked over her shoulder towards the water, scanned the beach, and then squinted through the semi-darkness at the cliffs.  The last ray of sun had sunk into the sea, and the full moon provided pale white light, illuminating the sand and reflecting off the sea spray which collected on the stones.  If whoever had arrived in this boat was still here, it would be impossible to search the entire jetty, especially in such inadequate light. Still…

          Mara knew she should go home now that it was dark. 

Of course Achor would be furious with jealousy if he knew someone else was on the island. She feared what he might do to an uninvited guest and didn’t want to provoke him by walking home so late.  She decided she would leave as soon as she had investigated the mysterious boat.  Mara moved towards it on the cool sand, her dress swishing around her ankles as she took each step.  She stopped directly in front of the boat, and reached out her trembling hand to touch it. 

The wood was worn and coarse, although it looked well-made and sturdily put together, as if done by an expert craftsman.  She drew her hand away, feeling like an intruder, and instead bent down to examine the front of it.

          She saw a strange emblem, pearls resting within a red rose.

          This was inlaid into the center of a faded gold panel running along the top and bottom of the boat, which was otherwise quite plain.  She ran her finger over the small design, intrigued by it.  It was only slightly bigger than her hand, yet it was the most delicately crafted of any design she had ever seen.  Unlike the bare wood, the painted emblem was smooth and soft, and seemed almost warm.  As she continued to run her fingers over the curving, thorn-covered stem of the rose, her eyes were raised up and she stood to look inside the boat. 

          There on the bottom was a tiny wooden chest of the same material as the boat.  It was clean and dry and had an exactly matching rose emblem on its lid.  All she had to do was step into the boat and open the lid to see what was inside. 

Mara hesitated, looked around, and then stepped in and shook the sand off of her feet.  Then, crouching down, she nimbly slid her fingers into the gap at the top of the small wooden box, just above the rose. 

She was filled with wonder as she felt it open with ease.  The trunk lifted up on well-oiled hinges and she set back on her heels there in the hull of the boat to gaze at the contents inside.

All time stood still.

          Mara stared with astonishment. In her heart she felt she was suddenly connected with an old friend, safe to belong and welcomed and loved.

The tiny box was ablaze with light from within, as if a thousand white diamonds had caught the pale moonlight and turned it into a dazzling multitude of tiny rainbows.  The colors caught in her hair and in her eyes, and her face glowed in its light. Her mouth parted and her eyes grew wide with rapture. 

The luminosity blazed out of the boat and shone out into the night sky for several moments, and then faded slowly away like the rays of a sunset. She lost her senses and stood transfixed for several moments, dazzled by the beauty of the treasure before her.

Inside, bright white and flawlessly clean, was the pearl necklace she had been searching for. It had not a single blemish upon it.

Time continued to hold still.

And then, suddenly and without warning Mara’s trance was interrupted with a bang, as the lid of the trunk was slammed down, causing a nearby group of sandpipers to fly off in a screaming flurry of white feathers.  The brilliant light was cut off and only the pale glow of the full moon shone on the beach.

Mara found herself face to face with Achor.

His eyes were inches from her own, deep and intense. The look on his face interrupted Mara’s wonder and startled her out the captivating effect of her discovery. She had forgotten Achor could easily have seen all that bright light shining out from her treasure, and he must have come running.

He had set foot on the sand for the first time since she had known him.

“Sacrifice this to your idols.” It was clearly Achor speaking, but his voice was so changed that she hardly recognized it. There was authority and power in it where there had once been patient reserve.

He was no longer biding his time.

 “Sacrifice this to your idols,” he said again, only slightly more subdued after seeing the way he had startled her. His seductive eyes were glowing in the moonlight and he didn’t even blink as he stared deep into her soul. She felt a vague sense of shame about the look in his eyes, as if he knew something very bad about her.

A seed of selfish willing weakness was planted within her thoughts when he mentioned the idols.

She desired to desire.

His voice was calm, but there was dark influence within it, and it seemed to reach down into every weakness within her that she had ever disclosed. He did not touch the boat, but he leaned in very close, their faces almost touching, and put his hand over her own, which was still on the wooden vessel.

He waited with intensity that she could feel radiating from his entire being. Mara hesitated, remembering as he gazed at her the idol worship from days long past.

She did not dismiss Achor.

She did not rebuke him.

She listened.

She desired to desire.

Conflicted, Mara broke his stare and turned away from him, lifting her eyes up to the dark valley in the distance. Slowly, ever so slowly, she moved her hand out from under his, picked up the small box and held it protectively to her chest.

“I wonder…” She paused and Achor nodded slowly, reading her face with delight. “I wonder if this might make them love me, if I give to them this pearl of great price.” She spoke out loud, hardly knowing her thoughts were audible. “I would be doing something noticeable and admirable by sacrificing such a valuable treasure to them. They will surely care about me after I do this. Certainly I will be counted as one of them after such an offering.” She spoke with a slowly increasing confidence that she did not truly feel in order to hide her uncertainty.

Achor replied, moving back and giving her room to stand. “Yes, Mara, yes, because you deserve this moment. You need to be loved, and this will make them love you.” He had ecstatic urgency in his voice, and it was contagiously compelling.

She completely lowered her defenses, embracing temptation and all its delightful lies.

Seeing her choice was made, Achor jumped up and flew into action. He urged her with every bit of influence he had over her. “Hurry now, to the Valley!”

Before she knew what was happening, Mara was scrambling along the shore, over rocks and up the grassy incline, past her packed dinner and the knife to cut the seaweed, climbing up and up, with Achor fast at her heels urging her onward.

“Why is he in such a hurry?” she wondered fleetingly.

She felt his hand under her arm, urging her forward, and he kept saying “faster, quickly, before it’s too late!” He kept peering greedily over her shoulder at the treasure that was pressed against her heart.

He consumed her cooperation like a power-hungry scavenger.

And they moved together so quickly down the path that it seemed she was transported to Achors’ dwelling place in a matter of mere seconds, as if through sheer willpower.

And in unison they descended into the depths of the gloomy Valley.

Achor presented Mara to the shrine of her idols with such formality and pride, it was almost as if he were announcing a bride at the entrance to her wedding reception.

 Mara took one look at her idols and fell to her knees in reverence, completely at the mercy of her own reaction to them, and placed the little chest hurriedly on the ground. With fearful urgency she removed the necklace in one swift motion. It could not catch the light here, because even the moon did not shine in the Valley.

And in what felt like the ultimate moment of victory, Mara held out the pearls and prostrated herself on her face before the lifeless stones with utter abandon. Mara was thrilled with anticipation that these idols on pedestals might finally come to life and love her at last.

She continued to bow low for an endless eternity with silent reverence before the lifeless stones. Her long hair had come loose and fell down onto the ground all around her.

Achor’s mouth curved into a deadly smile as he watched her from a short distance away. He encouraged her boldly, saying “Yes, Mara, now everything will be different, now you will have everything you desire. And now, finally, this empire will be inhabited.” 

His eyes darkened with the look of a conquering victor about to slay his opponent, and he gazed upwards towards the place where the sky hung far above the Valley.

The stars darkened.

Achor saw and laughed low as if at some great cosmic joke that was about to unfold.

Her submission to desire was almost complete.

The dark night of the soul was about to begin...

~*~

Join me next time for chapter seven! 

www.persuasiveabundance.com

To go back to the beginning of this story, click here.

To read my personal confession of redeeming love, click here.

With deepest gratitude for all my readers- 

Rebecca