If
I looked out the windows of this tower I would see the ocean from here, and I
could watch the gulls swooping and gliding, and see the beauty that is
sparkling on the surface of the water below. The sun is shining through red
stained-glass, and it tries to reach me. But I never look up, I never look out,
because I am too busy worshiping. I come here often to honor my idols. The
Accuser always follows me here- it’s his favorite place also. He watches me
closely but never says a word. His eyes glow with desire, and they never leave
me for a moment. They stare at me unblinkingly and wait. I have seen these
haunting eyes in my dreams.
~*~
~*~
Mara was intrigued by the
treasure. “Where did this come from?” she wondered.
Nobody ever visited the island. She wondered briefly if Achor might know
something about it. But she quickly pushed thoughts of him away.
She tugged at the side of
the strand of pearls that had the word on it, trying to wipe it clean with her
hands. She moved it this way and that, trying to free it from the kelp. The
pearls were smooth and white and perfect, and they were hopelessly stuck.
Mara became lost in thought,
remembering what this could mean.
There was something from the
past….something about perfume, anointing, baptism, purity, community and the forgiveness
of white roses.
She remembered a Presence, one before she walked through the Valley of Achor…
She remembered a Presence, one before she walked through the Valley of Achor…
…a time before she took
refuge in isolation. Before she became bitter.
And she felt a reminder of
Hope that surpasses understanding, one that comes on the wind with the spray of
the sea, the one that smells sweet like peppermint and deep like lavender and
sounds bright like freedom and feels safe like home.
“That name, this pearl.” She looked up at the
seagulls and directed her words to their curious beady eyes. “This was a gift
from Someone, and there is something I must do, something I need to surrender.”
She looked out towards the sea, but she knew not what she saw, because she was watching a distant memory
from her past.
“There is someone I must meet with, a story I still need to
write. I should talk to Him about it. But where is He?” She hardly knew where
these thoughts were coming from or that she spoke them aloud.
The gulls listened closely,
heads tilting from one side to the other. One by one they began returning to
their nests, settling in and comforting their frightened young.
Rousing herself, Mara came
to her senses and realized with urgency that she had a great deal she needed to
record in her journal.
Throwing
the stick down on the mess of seaweed, she stood up and brushed the wet sand
off her hands and knees. She looked down
at the pearl necklace one last time, realizing she could not bring it home with
her until she freed it from the kelp. Reluctantly Mara stepped back and glanced
towards the embankment, knowing that she couldn’t waste any more time or her
inspiration would be lost.
She decided to come back
later after she was done writing. She piled several large rocks around the seaweed
to secure it down safely and then began to carry out her original intent, to launch
her tiny fishing boat and catch a meal.
After a quick
harvest of clams and fish, she took one last look at the strange treasure,
making a mental note of its location in order to return to it later with tools
to untangle it from the mass of heavy seaweed. Then she departed with an eager
yearning to return as soon as possible.
As Mara
was pushing her laden cart up the hill, she heard a small avalanche of rocks
cascading down towards the beach on her left.
She stopped and stared, but there was nothing unusual to see among the
large rocks from where she was standing.
A strange feeling came over Mara,
and she longed to search among the caves and crevices in the side of the hill
to see what had made that noise. Without
a doubt it was not Achor- he always looked warily upon the sea with distaste in
his eyes. One place that Mara knew he would never follow her was the beach- he
had an aversion to water and vast open spaces. He never set foot on the sand-
he preferred the confines of his dark Valley filled with idols.
So maybe the disturbance had to do with the pearls
she had found? But she knew that Achor
would probably start searching for her in her vineyard if she took any longer
coming home, so Mara forced herself to continue walking. She must keep him away
from her roses.
She consoled herself with
the promise that she would return later in the cool of the evening, just as
soon as she had finished her chores and, most importantly, her writing.
~*~
The quick pace at which she
was pushing the heavy cart up the hill soon warmed her, and she was panting by
the time she pushed it into the small shed next to the house.
“You’re in quite a hurry
this morning,” a smooth voice said behind her, startling Mara out of her activity. She turned around to meet the familiar face
and dark prying eyes staring down intently into hers.
“Achor.” Mara blushed and backed up slightly. She didn’t know what else to say, remembering
their last fight not so long ago. She stood next to her cart and awkwardly
leaned against it, wiping the perspiration from her brow. She stared at the
ground by his feet, avoiding his face.
She didn’t want to admit she
was relieved to see him again, nor did she want to tell him why she was in such
an excited rush.
“What is it? Something
happened.” Achor prodded for an answer. Since he could not enter her mind, he read
her face, studying her every move quite intently and hanging onto her every
word.
“Oh, it’s nothing
interesting” Mara said with a tinge of annoyance that he was endlessly asking her
personal questions. “I am running low on
supplies, so I just wanted to see if I could gather some clams and do some
early fishing.” She paused, hoping he
wouldn’t ask if she had another dream about the storm. She didn’t want to talk to Achor about her
dreams. But he evaluated her face and
seemed to be satisfied with the impression.
“So,” he dismissed that
conversation and smiled down at her with benevolent swagger, “can I walk you to
the house? I don’t have to be anywhere
in particular, and I could use some company. I won’t talk too much, I promise.”
He smiled coyly, falling into step beside her.
“Well, ok,” Mara responded,
hiding her uncertainty. Although she
wanted to believe that his offer was friendly, she couldn’t help the doubt that
rose up inside her. It made her feel
vulnerable, and she did not like it. She
knew Achor presented himself as a gentleman, but still she never fully trusted
anything he said, although she wanted to and tried.
In her memory Mara could hardly
recall a time when he had not been a constant presence in her life of
isolation. They sometimes walked
together on the trail in the evenings and made up fanciful stories about what
lay beyond Empire Island. She never felt
any direct imposition during these conversations, because he knew when to
respect her insecurity.
This was why he now watched her face both when
she spoke and when she was silent, so he would know exactly what to say to make
her feel safe with him. He always made suggestions that resonated with her
deepest fears in a way that short-circuited her judgement. He seemed to know her even better than she
knew herself, which was daunting.
“What was so interesting out
on the bay, anyhow?” he asked as they walked side by side towards the house together. “I have noticed you watching it closely the
past few days. You are starting to make me very jealous.” At this, Achor tilted his head, ran his
fingers into his hair and put on a dramatically sad expression on his face.
Mara surprised herself and
laughed out loud at his unusual display of comedy, which made Achor drop his
act and laugh, too. She composed herself
and corrected him.
“You know, sometimes I get
tired of you accusing me, mister!” Mara shook her head, smiling to hide her confliction. He may sometimes joke about his jealousy, but
there was interrogation beneath his light words. She wasn’t sure how to answer
his initial question, so she remained silent for a long while. He didn’t ask her
again.
The two walked slowly, as
the path between the shed and the house was not far.
They stopped in front of her door.
“This is my stop. I really should hurry, so I can collect my baskets
and start cooking all those fish. I have a lot to do.” Mara turned to push open the door.
“Allow me to help, won’t
you? I will wait here.” Achor stood obediently with his hands clasped in front
of him, feet firmly planted on the doorstep, with a demure and obedient countenance.
“Well, alright.” Mara
hesitated, seeing his attempt at persuading her through easy compliance. She
hurried inside, gathered up several woven baskets in her arms, and came back
out to where he was standing. She handed him one of the more cumbersome baskets
and they carried them across the lawn.
Working side by side in the
dim light of the shed, Achor and Mara worked to shell the clams and prepare the
fish for cooking, separating the different kinds and cleaning them. After her
entire collection was attended to, they carried the full baskets back to the
house.
Appreciative for his help,
Mara smiled up at Achor when they returned to her door. She set her two baskets
on the table and returned to get his. As she reached for the largest basket to
take inside, their fingers touched. His eyes flickered and he put his hand on
her shoulder when she took it from him. She hesitated, debating whether to look
at his face, and when she did Mara saw him looking at her in that unsettling
way again, with his handsome and searching eyes.
“Thanks for letting me help
you with this, Mara. I love to work with you. You are always so busy and I want
you to know that I am always available to assist you. You spend so much time in
your garden or doing chores.” He paused,
choosing his next words carefully. “You
should take a break once in a while and come visit me in the Valley. Like old
times.”
“It has been a while,”
stammered Mara, debating whether to rebuke his remark. She decided to pacify
him this time with a gentler approach. “I
just don’t ever think to come and visit. The Valley just never comes to mind
anymore. I can hardly remember it now,” she added, careful to give that particular qualifier.
“I still would welcome you
any time. You used to adore the Valley, when you were in your prime of
happiness. I still have all your idols exactly as you left them last. I
preserve them for you. I know you will want them again someday.” Achor spoke
boldly.
“Oh. Well, um, thank you,”
she responded lightly. She would never
visit him there again, nor her idols, ever. There was too much shame in the
memory. The influence of desire was still too intimidating to her wounded heart
and mind.
His hand left her shoulder,
though his eyes didn’t leave hers. “Well,
see you later, then!” He said brightly.
He threw her another crafty smile that would have made her laugh again
if she didn’t know him better.
She remembered
the pearls.
Mara knew she would make
quicker time now that Achor was gone, since she was no longer locked in a
discussion with him. She was in such a distracted
state that she fumbled with the last basket and almost spilled it. She set it down, and then she ran over to the
kitchen window and looked out. Before
she began her morning chores, Mara wanted to pause and recall her discovery of
such a strange and beautiful treasure.
But she kept her emotions in
reserve, because now was not the time to feel. It was time to accomplish the
tasks at hand.
She had a whole day ahead of
her before she returned to the beach. She had to prepare her meals, preserve
the remaining food, and tend to her rose beds. And she wanted to write
something more in her journal.
She needed to be present with herself and
leave the excitement of her finding at the beach where she left it. Taking a
deep calming breath, Mara stepped back from the window and looked around her.
The room was still and quiet and filled with
hope.
~*~
Join me next time for chapter five!
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To go back to the beginning of this story, click here.
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With deepest gratitude for all my readers-
Rebecca
